The Round Boy

On the Yankees: Luke Voit

Somewhat close to “The Kid” but Round Boys are different in that they are round. Very round. Or thick. Some would say fat. I wouldn’t, but some would.

America has a storied history of round athletes: the Fridge, later years Shaq, John Daly. We love watching big fellas play sports. Baseball in particular has had a cavalcade of corpulent characters.* The joy of watching a large person bumble their way around the field, no matter how fit they are under all that *ahem mass, will never not be fun.

Luke Voit is the archetypical round boy, and he is fun as hell to watch. He’s another player that somewhat fits into “The Kid” category, but he’s a dead ringer for Round Boy.

 

 

 

Luke’s a throwback to a simpler time. A time when you could bring a different kind of six-pack to the diamond. He’s not as round as some Round Boys, but he’s thick–with a lot of meat on the bones. Every time he legs out a double, I holds my breath.

My favorite part about Luke is the little hop he does after he thinks he’s hit a home run.

It’s endearing to watch Round Boys play sports. They are very special characters to me and many Americans, and I want them to be appreciated by the MLB marketing strategy. As sports become more and more physically specialized, they are becoming a dying breed. #SaveTheRoundBoys

Archetypal Hall of Famer

The only player with a candy bar name after them.

https://imgur.com/gallery/3iAhwPz

*Yes, I used a thesaurus, but only for corpulent